Nuttalia
by Emmerai
Summary: When you have to come up with something for homework that involves peanuts, this is what comes to mind.


Author's Note: This note has been used as a warning. The text below is a parody of the anime/manga series, Hetalia: Axis Powers (Which is Hetalia: World Series in season 2), and therefore the attitude of the personified, or rather nuttified, countries is purely a stereotype to poke fun at the political world. Since they are merely stereotypes, please consider that every individual is unique, and therefore the personality of anybody is not related to their country of origin. This is merely meant for a joke and to humor yourself and everyone else! It's meant to laugh with, not to laugh at!

**Cast of Characters! (both mentioned and not mentioned)**

Germinut: Germany (Ludwig)

Nutaly: Northern Italy (Feliciano Vargas)

Hazano: Southern Italy, often called Romano (Lovino Vargas)

Acorich: Austria (Roderich Edelstein)

Peafred: America (Alfred F. Jones)

The Pecan Kingdom: Britain (Arthur Kirkland)

Aland: Sealand (Peter Kirkland)

Nu'pan: Japan (Kiku Honda)

Chena: China (Wang Yao)

Walland: Poland (Feliks Łukasiewicz)

Peassia: Prussia (Gilbert Beilschmidt)

Hazeles: Greece (Heracles Karpusi) additional info: Ants are the equivalent of cats

Almarus: Belarus (Natalia Arlovskaya)

Soviet Unut (S.U.): Russia (Ivan Braginski)

Almania: Lithuania (Toris Laurinaitis)

Latvinut: Latvia (Raivis Galante)

Estoniut: Estonia (Eduard von Bock)

Freanut: France (Francis Bonnefoy)

Pinetnio: Spain (Antonio Hernandez-Carriedo)

Walnada: Canada (Matthew Williams)

Nutaly and Nu'pan were eating some rice grains as Germinut strolled by. "Germinut, Germinut!" Nutaly cried out at a heartbeat as he clumsily waved his arms in a fashion Nu'pan considered to be ridiculously humiliating.

"Ah, Nutaly, Nu'pan. Now, Nutaly, stop vaiving your arms like that! Ze humans will take notice!" Germinut warned, for he knew very well that Nutaly lacked a peanut within his shell.

"Ve, humans? Oh, right! Those big monsters that try to eat us!" Nutaly cried. It wasn't even noon, and Germinut was confident Nutaly wouldn't survive another day if he doesn't stop him from moving an inch. One must truly admire the dedication Germinut puts into making sure Nutaly isn't eaten.

"Be quiet, Nutaly!" Germinut barked. Nutaly instantaneously began to whine at these harsh words. "I'm sorry, Nutaly. Now, for your training, you two! Those Allied Nuts over zere have been giving us ze eye all day…"

"Yes, they have been spying on me since I woke up this morning. The S.U. in particurar… it's very scary…" Nu'pan agreed. The S.U. is the Soviet Unut, and Nu'pan's accent does not allow for a proper pronunciation of l, thus particular becomes particurar.

"Time for a daily count!" Germinut cried out. His militaristic fashion of life has not afftected Nutaly a bit.

"One!" Nutaly responded.

"Two!" Nu'pan proceeded.

"All right, now I vant you to run tventy laps across this table fast!" Germinut coached. As you have probably noticed, Germinut has a German accent, as he is a German peanut.

Nu'pan obeyed his orders valiantly, as a true Japanese peanut would, but Nutaly, being the typical Italian nut, instead wandered off to pet one of Hazeles's ants.

"Hey, stay away from my ants!" Hazeles roared. This is one of the few times a Greek Hazelnut can ever be caught angry.

Germinut immediately rushed over, Nutaly crying the whole time, of course. "He is so sorry, Hazeles. I vill make sure zat zis incident vill not repeat itself in ze foreseeable futa. Now, Nutaly, say you're sorry."

"S-s-s-s-sorry, Hazeles… Ve, can I have some pasta bits now, Germinut?" Nutaly persevered. Ah, Nutaly can't live without pasta.

"Vill you stop crying?" Germinut asked.

"Yes!" Nutaly shrieked as he hugged Germinut tightly. "I love you, Germinut!" Although Germinut would never admit it, he was touched by Nutaly's loyal friendship.

Germinut gently unwrapped Nutaly's arms from his shell and hopped over to the pantry to get some pasta. Nutaly asked no further questions and instead ventured to find his older brother, the Italian Hazelnut Hazano.

"Hazano, it is terrible!" Nutaly informed him.

"What happened, my brother?" Hazano asked, petrified of what he thought it was.

"There is no cooked pasta!" Nutaly shouted, loud enough for the mice in the walls to hear, as they, too, began to panic.

"What? No! This can't be true!" Hazano joined.

"Oh but it is! Please, help me in moving this spoon, maybe if we work hard enough, we can pour some water into the pot and boil some ourselves, Hazano! Maybe we could swim in the pasta!" Nutaly had fantasized.

"What? Work for pasta? What is this world coming to?" Hazano questioned, for work was not in the vocabulary of Italians.

"I know, dear brother, it is terrible! Oh, how can we avoid this dreadful pasta crisis?" Nutaly chimed. For these two, the world truly was coming to an end.

"May I offer you some rice bars to ease your tension?" Nu'pan offered, overhearing the conversation.

"Yes, please," Nutaly accepted. Hazano remained silent.

Meanwhile, Germinut is going insane trying to find Nutaly.

"Where could he be? He has to be here somewhere! The humans can't have taken him!" Germinut panicked.

As the nutty patch was in such great turmoil, be it for life or for pasta, the humans came back from their shopping.

"Can I have some pizza now?" Asked Michael, the youngest of the group.

"No, not yet," responded the alpha female, Raquel.

"PASTAAAAAAAAAAA!" Rung out a very enthusiastic Nutaly and Hazano at hearing the key word: Pizza. At this point, Germinut was able to immediately find him. He furiously ran over to the Italian nuts.

"Nutaly! Be quiet zis instant!" Poor Germinut, such a tough job he has, taking care of Nutaly…

"Get away from my brother, you macho potato!" Hazano insulted. "You're ruining my brother with your potato ways!"

"Hazano, be nice to Germinut…" Nutaly intervened, whining greatly.

"Look, ze humans are going to find us if you don't shut up!" Germinut warned.

"Then why don't you start with yourself you potato head?" Hazano questioned.

"Here zey come!" Germinut whispered as he grabbed the Italian nuts and hid behind the bananas, making extra precaution to cover the two noisy nuts' mouths. They watched in horror as Richard, the alpha male of the humans, grabbed Estoniut and cracked him open, revealing his nutty insides. That was the end of Enstoniut, and now the Soviet Unut's only live subordinate is Almania, from Lithuania. May Estoniut and Latvinut rest in peace.

"Mom, mom, mom, can I have the pizza now?" Michael chimed. He wouldn't rest until he had his pizza.

"Ugh, fine! Have a darn slice!" the irritated Raquel responded. She opened the box and cut Michael a piece, the aroma of the gooey cheese drifting through the air. Nutaly and Hazano were going insane, and Germinut went to great efforts to restrain the two.

Twenty minutes after the humans left, Germinut deemed it safe to venture to other parts of the table, and thus let the Italian nuts roam freely. "Now, make sure to take extra precaution, as ze humans may return any—" before Germinut continued his stern advisement, he noticed the Italians had already left him.

"Pasta, pasta, pasta, pasta! Pata pata pata pata pata!" Nutaly exclaimed as he walked, as it has become practically a ritual for him to do three things: mass produce white flags made out of toothpicks and napkin bits, make unusual noises, and to have uninvited sleepovers at Germinut's house every single night.

After running for a few minutes, the Italians had reached their goal: the pizza! They dived unto the warm, melted cheese, rolling around gleefully as they swallowed handfuls of pizza. To them, it was heaven, for they finally got their beloved pasta, though in reality pizza isn't really a pasta.


End file.
